Usman Khawaja

Sports Shoot / Delly Carr

So we are back again and the big boys are on the road with a two week endeavour from Melbourne to Adelaide. With Steven Smith and David Warner coming out of the Australian Twenty/20 win, spirits are high, especially for young Smith who has grown a new found love for Victoria. I’m on the sidelines with a dodgy thumb and I got to thinking about some of the other characters from the RTA SpeedBlitz Blues who are missing in action at present - what they have been doing behind the scenes away from the spotlight. Because lets face it, it’s probably the worst place for any cricketer to be. Three legends in their own lunchtime are worthy of this weeks blog.

The first man is the silver fox himself Mister Mark Cameron. It may surprise some of you that ‘Scud’ is still in his 20s! (if only just). He looks 40 years old. In league they’d call him 40:20. He has a prestigious brain (rather odd for someone with such an unusually small sized head) and it is evidenced by Mark being a diligent tactician and brilliant analyser of the game. You will know him as a bowler, but in the dressing room he has a reputation as the “Poor Man’s Jaquesy” for his copy-cat batting impersonation of the star opener. Being right handed is usually the tell-tale give away, as well as the lack of facial distortions!

Places to spot Mark; in the SCG gym squatting in front of his own poster, riding his flash bike at Centennial Park, your local supermarket that sells ‘Just for Men’ or with Ben Rohrer anywhere except a Steakhouse due to their dissatisfaction with lamb chops (according to former NSW physio Pat Farhart!).

Mark boasts some extraordinary stats in First Class cricket with 45 wickets at an average of just over 20. He was definitely making big noises in Domestic cricket in all forms of the game before his mishaps. A recurring back injury has kept him off the field for most of this season and a large portion of 2008/9. We all hope that ‘Scud’ makes a full recovery soon.

This next one is a doozy! The old fashioned looker with the old fashioned name has made the most of his opportunities since coming down from the home of Joey Johns “back in Newy”. It’s Burt Cockley! Don’t be fooled by his 1960s comb-over hairstyle, he is just a puppy at 23 years of age. Take a deep breath. Ok now that you have lifted your jaw off the ground you have to admit the curse of the ageing fast bowler has affected Burt more than most. He once tried to defend himself saying that he just ages differently by referring to himself as the “reverse Benjamin Button”!

‘Big bustling’ was on fire last year being the RTA SpeedBlitz Blues’ highest wicket taker. He started this season strongly by first believing that the colour red on anything makes its physically faster than anything else, and then breaking nearly every single gym record that exists. From the first game of the season he was taking poles: left right and centre. Then, shockingly, the arch enemy of the fast bowler got hold of him and wouldn’t let go. Stress fractures in this (young) man’s back had him saying ‘sayonara’ to season 09/10. That prompted junior red head Steve Smith to demand “he needs a new back”.

This cloud has a silver lining though. The extended break for Burt has allowed him to purchase a new apartment, road bike and a washing machine! Burt would like to thank the ACA. We hope he “can show all of us up, just like Judas” (Burt talk!)

Maybe a brief history lesson needed for Burt!

Places to spot Burt; Coast Golf Club, mowing Steve Smith’s lawn, reading autobiographies upside down, mowing other team-mates’ lawns, watching movies or eating his body weight in ice cream.

The last man worthy of mention in my ‘not quite yet on the field’ list is not injured. Greg Mail is a very loveable (and cuddly) figure amongst the team. When he announced his retirement from First-class cricket for NSW a couple of months ago, it was a sad day. His brother from another mother Grant (a.k.a. Greg Lambert) would compare Maily’s physique to a “6 foot pole, only the pole has more meat”, leading team mates to ponder the Zen-like question of how a masseuse could massage human bone!

Life size stick figure or not, Greg has been outstanding this year with 3 double centuries and has already eclipsed 1000 runs in the current grade season! And don’t you worry there were plenty of sixes this year, and didn’t he let us know about them.

Despite his physical deformities, most impressive was Greg’s influence amongst team-mates. Mailey’s motto of “when in doubt pull out, and move on to plan B” has been one that the Blues have embraced. No one more than his young, impressionable team mate Mitchell Starc who has closely followed in his footsteps. Greg has now moved on to the ‘real world’ with a very exclusive opportunity with Westpac. Yes he is a smart man, who always thought he had all the answers. So I was glad to teach him a lesson one day during a 2nd X1 match. It was Day 3 on a waring wicket, pieces of debris from the pitch lay everywhere. Greg decided to throw one of them at me (give me some of my own medicine he thought) and hit me flush on the back. So I found one the size of a cricket ball and nailed him in the jaw from thirty meters away four balls later! He didn’t get angry being my captain and all, he just said. “Last time I take on a Pakistani born cricketer in a rock throwing contest”. I was in tears at mid-wicket!

That was classic Mail, his dry, witty sense of humour cannot be replaced, and we all shall miss the run machine and wish him all the best.

Places to spot Greg; replacing the try line post with himself in the 2010 NRL season, The Austral (in Adelaide), RM Williams purchasing a new white shirt, and Sydney University library memorising mathematical theory to 25 decimal places!

Well that’s my take on some of the NSW cricketers in the wilderness at the moment. Hopefully my next Blog will be from the middle!

Signing out.

Usman Khawaja